Why My Peace is Non-Negotiable: The Cost of Doing Right

The Cost of Clarity


Yesterday felt like a final straw. Prayers were answered, but not in any beautiful way. The whole experience was exhausting and utterly painful. Yet, I woke up this morning with a profound sense of clarity and immense gratitude for the discernment to see things as they truly are. Even though the experience itself was terrible—leaving me completely drained, fostering an overwhelming migraine that turned into a fever, and sending me to bed before sunset—I'm grateful for what it revealed.

What was truly exposed was a piercing clarity about the "who" and "what" I still need to ruthlessly remove from my path. It became undeniably clear that being around people who don't share my morals or mindset is genuinely unhealthy for me. I'm no longer interested in friendships built on self-interest, where others prioritize what benefits them over what is fundamentally right. My peace, my growth, and my soul demand a different standard. My faith is growing, and for the first time, I'm seeing with crystal clear vision. There are still people and things lingering in my life like a black cloud, serving no good purpose for me. 

There are places that still consume my mind with terror, a level of fear many wouldn't understand. But I'm becoming so strong that the moment God exposes someone or something for who and what they truly are, and how they truly affect my mind, body, and soul, I no longer hesitate. I remove them from my path without a second thought. Sometimes, it fucking hurts to distance myself from people I love and care for. But if they're not good for me, then the pain is worth it because I am worth it. I am worth succeeding, and I have everything I need to succeed in my faith alone!

Protecting the Innocent

Last night, I found myself in a debate with another woman, a discussion I shut down as soon as my anger flared. Long story short, someone we both know is using drugs and beating the mother of his three beautiful little girls. This guy even started abusing her in front of my friend and the kids. As someone who always advocates passionately for children—because so many people neglect them—I told my friend that if I had been there, I would have called the cops immediately, given the existing circumstances where these girls are constantly exposed to domestic violence, addiction, and God only knows what else.

The woman with us started acting like I was wrong, saying, "That's not how we handle things." I looked her dead in the eyes and asked how she would handle it. She said she'd call family, not the police. I laughed in her face. I started preaching about how people like her are exactly what's wrong with the world, why so many suffer, especially children.

I called CPS on myself and the father of my two youngest children because it was the right thing to do. That call saved my life and my children's lives. I was honest about my relapse eight years ago with my oldest son's father and fell so deep into addiction that I gave up custody so he could raise our son in a stable environment. It was the right thing to do! I've suffered and grieved through pain because I chose to do what was right.

Fuck my feelings. Fuck the feelings of the abuser, and even the woman he's abusing! Just to quickly remind my readers, this is my perspective, my beliefs, how I feel, and I believe when children are exposed to those kinds of things, the only feelings that matter are theirs. Our job as adults is to protect the innocent children of this world. So I don't regret telling that woman, "Fuck your feelings too!" I stand on what I say and what I believe in! And I will always do everything I can to protect any and all children in this world.


  It Starts With Us

The importance of doing what's right begins within each of us. We have to take care of ourselves, and we demonstrate what's right to our children by actively doing it. The abuser in these situations needs help, and the abused mother needs help too. But until individuals choose to do what's right for themselves, they are exposing children to a lifetime of messy problems that will inevitably have a profound impact on their adult lives. Until someone helps themselves, I can't help them. But if kids are involved, I will always step in and help by helping the children directly.

The Unveiled Mother 🌛 

 

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